I got a new muffin pan two weeks ago and I'm finally getting to try some new recipes. Right now I have a Paula Deen Cookbook that I'm working through, I'm not sure that she does any recipe wrong. My husband earmarked some pages he wanted me to try and we thought the kids would like this one.
Thanksgiving just passed and my newsfeed has been full of friends giving thanks for families, jobs, kids, and love. There's also equal parts of beautifully set tables and shiny family photos. I actually love to see the family photos to see how families are growing or aging. It's easy to compare yourself here. I didn't grow up rich or especially middle class, so my adult life struggles have been in balancing what I want my life to look like and what I want my heart to be like.
This year particularly I have dealt with jealousy like a teenage girl. I'm not sure how I am 25 and feeling so green with envy, but it's completely new to me to feel it like this. It's a time when friends who have started their marriages or families are growing into new jobs or new homes. Single friends who got to finish college are traveling and succeeding at every turn. Then there are the people that you know they don't try as hard as you and yet they seem to be recognized constantly. Their holiday tables have grand candles, matching silverware, flannel and burlap, shiny smiles, and coordinated holiday sweaters.
For our family we have had many life changes and struggles this year, like when you hear fans defending their winning team when they say "it's a rebuilding year." It's hard to be in the struggle and wonder if there will ever be a time that doesn't feel like this.
I thought about these things while cutting the peanut butter into the dry mix batter. My daughter wanted to help so she dropped in the spoonfuls of jam onto the first layer of batter. Of course she licked the spoon clean. She's four years old and clever and funny. She doesn't know why we don't have a big backyard or a car right now. She knows that peanut butter and jelly is her favorite and that there will be presents for Christmas. Her feelings of jealousy are only when her baby sister snatched her toy.
In spite of this jealousy I am working through, I'm convinced that I am more thankful than before. Maybe just for awareness. I could have been the one with the cute family dog in a Christmas sweater #lifeisperfect #christmascheer. But for now I am honestly grateful for the very basic things I took for granted before. Honesty in my home, the uniform that means I have a job for my family, the brownies my husband makes for me after a long shift. And I'm also grateful for the things I'm missing. The convenience of Stewart's ice cream around the corner, or having a best friend over any night of the week, no plane ticket needed, a church family to share life with.
I hope God is not done with my heart, because there's so much work to do here, maybe more than I ever realized. There's a lot of peanut butter to cut into the flour. There's a lot of raspberry jam needed in my character. Maybe you feel this way during the holidays. Bite into this muffin with me. Wipe the oozing jam off your lips and share it with the people who make your life full and forget about the people who don't.
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Paula Deen's PB & J Muffins
http://www.pauladeen.com/pb-j-muffins- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1/4 cup light brown sugar, packed
- 2 tablespoons baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 cup plus 1 teaspoon creamy peanut butter
- 1 cup milk
- 1 egg, lightly beaten
- 1 stick butter, at room temperature, plus 3 tablespoons melted
- 1/4 cup jam, thick, such as seedless raspberry
- 1/3 cup honey-roasted peanuts, chopped
- 5 tablespoons fruit preserves, your favorite type
Preheat the oven to 350°. Spray a 12-cup muffin tin with cooking spray. I like to use a soft stick of butter to wiggle around each muffin form.
In a food processor, combine the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Pulse in all of the peanut butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Add the milk, egg, and 3 tablespoons melted butter and pulse until combined. I like to melt the butter in the muffin pan while the oven is pre-heating, then point it into the batter. Also, If you don't have a food processor you could use a pastry cutter here.
Distribute half of the batter equally among the muffin cups. Drop a teaspoon of jam into each cup and cover with the remaining batter. Top with the chopped peanuts. Bake until the muffins are light golden, 15 to 20 minutes. Transfer them to a wire rack to cool. Serve warm or allow to cool completely. Spread compound butter on top. Store in an airtight container. The muffins will keep for 1 to 2 days.
Compound Butter:
Combine 1 stick room temperature butter with preserves and chill until set.
